Hello yogis and yoginis,

In honor of finding the divine within, I've dedicated this newsletter to the practice of self-inquiry, self-awareness and self-acceptance.  It's all about nourishing the inside.  Dive into your home practice with a relaxed approach and enjoy the ease of simply going with the flow.  I've kept a diary of my own home practice over one week to reveal an honest look at what inspires me (as well as what sends me running for the hills)!  The sample sequence is yours to play with, modify or spice up as you see fit.  You'll find creative ways to make yoga a part of your everyday life in my new blog, entitled H(om)e, inspired by my love of yoga, cooking and passionate domesticity!

Finally, come reinvest in yourself and join me on my retreat to Dominica in March.  There are only a few spaces left!  Seven days of Caribbean splendor, playful yoga and plenty of relaxation by the pool...now that's what I call self-indulgence (it's about time)!

For many years I felt the same way.  I had ideals and standards in my mind that inevitably set me up for failure when left to my own devices in the confines of my living room.  As a teacher, I felt pressure to practice, but really, it felt like pressure to "perform".  I'd sit down on my mat with a laundry list of postures I was seeking to perfect.  Practicing at home was just another thing to do to make myself a better yogi/teacher/woman.  And so, I avoided it.  This was followed by guilt, which led to more aversion and the cycle continued until I felt like a phony.  How could I be a yoga teacher if I wasn't practicing what I preached?

My perspective started to shift when I met my teacher, Mark Whitwell, at a workshop he was teaching for yoga teachers.  I was so touched by what he had to say that I felt compelled to ask a very vulnerable question about my meditation practice, or really, the lack thereof - in essence, how I could get "better" at it?  My whole heart was wrapped up in that one question and the burden from years of pressure and guilt made my eyes swell up with tears.  How could I be a teacher or a devoted student of yoga if I felt an aversion to meditation?  I fully expected Mark to prescribe a new regimen that I could add to my arsenal of self-improvement techniques. Instead, he said something shockingly simple and unexpected.  "Chrissy, you are already perfect just as you are".  In that moment, I began the process of disentanglement - of my sense of self worth with my weaknesses, my shortcomings and my expectations.  I saw my definition of practice for what it really was...a carrot-on-a-stick mentality that promised happiness, if only I could get around the next bend.  It's no wonder I felt like a failure on my mat - I had failed before I'd even begun.  

My home practice is now about the willingness to work through my own personal challenges, but more importantly, the wisdom to accept what is.  I enjoy practicing for the sake of practicing and I do so in honor of myself and no one else.  Yoga at home is an opportunity to just "be".  There's no game plan, no schedule and no one to impress.  I take each day as it comes, following my teacher's advice:  "Yoga is a three breath practice".  The first breath is hard.  You start to think you'd be better off in bed, or on the couch with a glass of wine.  The second breath can be challenging, but you stick it out for one more because curiosity gets the best of you.  The third breath is heaven.  Sometimes that's all you need...sometimes you just keep going.  There's no pressure and I think it has been this ease of being that's allowed me to see yoga as so much more than a few downdogs.  Asana and pranayama are just as valuable as the practice of satya (truthfulness), viveka (discernment) and ishvara pranidhana (surrender).  Once the guilt has lifted, a home practice can mean total freedom to explore what feels right at any given moment.  There's no where and no one to be except exactly where and who you are right now.

I've kept a diary of my home practice over one week.  It's an honest look into what motivates me and what holds me back.  I've also included a sample sequence that you can try at home, with modifications and variations to satisfy your energy level, ability and health.  Ease up on yourself, kick back and (as Mark says) just have a nice breathe!

"Tapas svadhyaya ishvara pranidhanani kriya yogaha" - Sutra 2.1
Discipline, self-study and surrender to God constitute yoga in action.


Monday, December 28th

I feel like such a yoga cliche to say that I "threw my back out" and even more of a cliche for adding "I have sacral issues".  Everyone has sacral issues (or so it seems)!  But alas, I'm in pain and I'm annoyed because I should've seen this one coming.  I can't pinpoint exactly what I did, although I think I hurt myself demonstrating a chair backbend.  My physical asymmetries make this injury a pretty predictable conclusion to weeks of avoiding the appropriate stretches that help me stay balanced.  Billy sounds like me:  "You need to ice your back"!  I realize this is what I tell my students, yet somehow feeling sorry for myself seems like a better way to self-medicate.  I examine my resistance and decide it's time to pull out my Iyengar chair (ironically what got me into this mess in the first place), a housewarming gift from two of my students.  I love it because it's wrapped in duck tape!  I try my best to relax despite the fact that Ellie is crawling all over me, licking my face and dangling her smelly toys over my sad, sad body.  My pain is only slightly alleviated and I start to feel empathy toward my students when they tell me that my suggestions aren't as effective as I'd hoped - it poignantly demonstrates the idea of the individual and that no body follows any one particular method of healing.  I close my eyes and consciously try to relax my muscles into the floor.  The pain is distracting, but I do my best to bring myself back to the task at hand - breathing and letting go.

Tuesday, December 29th

Today I made up my own style of yoga - "balance ball yoga".  It all started when sitting at my computer became way too uncomfortable, so I replaced my desk chair with a balance ball and felt some instant relief.  I started making small circles and I felt even better.  Before I knew it I was draped over the ball every which way, hanging onto the legs of my desk for support.  I just feel like something needs to "pop" back into place.  After 30 minutes on the ball, I stood up and felt significantly better.  I was inspired to try some standing poses (couldn't even be bothered to take off my Uggs.  I tried Trikonasana and appreciated the instruction of drawing the front sit bone towards the back heel...my injury is highlighting some misalignments in my practice and the tendency to just move where I'm flexible.  Hyper-flexibility masks the opportunity to investigate a pose further, tricking you into thinking that you've already arrived.  I practiced Prasarita Padottanasana with my spine parallel to the floor and a very gentle Parighasana (Gate Pose).  I'm desperate to twist, which makes me think I should probably avoid it.  I ended up in downdog with my hands in the shape of a V at the wall, feet extra wide and toes turned in...I could feel the length in my lower back.  3-legged downdog and a gentle updog with my knees on the floor told me that I was biting off more than I could chew.  Pain is my teacher today - point taken.

Wednesday, December 30th

Horray!  I feel better and I'm overwhelmed with gratitude.  If only I could feel this grateful for my health when I'm feeling healthy! Who knew putting socks on without pain could bring so much joy?  I made a mental note to trademark balance ball yoga, but was distracted by my new invention, "Stair Yoga".  Amazing.  I tried pigeon with one shin on a step and my back foot 5 steps down.  This morphed into a bastardized (but brilliant!) version of Parsvakonasana/Parighasana, then into Parivrtta Trikonasana. I followed up with updog (bad idea) and downdog (that's better).  I'm slowly getting back into the saddle again.  I'm definitely not "pain free", which begs the question "why did I feel the need to attempt a demonstration of handstand"?  Really, Chrissy, are you serious?

Thursday, December 31st

I didn't practice any asana today, out of respect for my inner voice which was telling me to rest.  Sometimes, with an injury, the urge to fidget and "find" relief can create more irritation and instability, so I backed off and tried to get my mind out of victim-mode.  I actively practiced Pratipaksha Bhavanam, or replacing a negative with a positive.  At first glance, this practice seems contrived, as if you need to think the exact opposite of the thought that's been weighing you down.  Not so.  I'm simply shifting gears and, in the midst of organizing my home, hanging out with my family and getting ready for New Year's Eve dinner, I literally forgot about the discomfort in my back.  The space allowed me to rest and heal.

Friday, January 1st

Happy New Year!  I avoided the temptation to set a New Year's resolution because I didn't want to start the year examining all of the ways in which I could be "better".  Ok, maybe I made one small resolution...to relax!  I would like to work on letting go and simply relaxing into the present moment.  My asana practice involved a nice, long Downdog, and then a long hip-opening series. Dandasana (Staff Pose), cradling the shin and leaning into the outer hip (holy moly!), ankle-to-knee, Ardha Baddha Padma Paschimottanasana, Gomukasana and Supta Virasana. Releasing the outer hips and hip flexors had a profound effect on releasing the pressure in my sacrum.  Hmm...interesting.

Saturday, January 2nd

I taught my entire hip-opening series from yesterday in my advanced class this morning.  I demonstrated it on my "bad side" and got the benefit of releasing my hips again!  That should've been my New Year's resolution...to only demonstrate on my bad side!  I tried another handstand when I got home and it did not go well (when will I learn)! I'm frustrated because I start teaching the January 200hr Intensive on Monday and I'm concerned about not being able to move freely.  It will be a lesson in relaxing and letting go (thanks, Universe).  I practiced Supta Padangusthasana in an effort to release my hamstrings.  I took care to maintain the natural curve of my lumbar spine, thinking about releasing my pubic bone forward and down toward the mat.  Very helpful (and humbling - I couldn't visually stretch as much as I did before, but the stretch became clearer and cleaner).

Sunday, January 3rd

Ah, the calm before the storm!  I practiced some restorative yoga today - Supta Virasana, Supta Baddha Konasana and a long ankle-to-knee.  I consciously worked on samtosha today (contentment) by trying to stay in the present moment and appreciate these last few relaxing moments with Billy and Ellie.  Today is Billy's birthday, so I enjoyed cooking a yummy stew and an apple pear crumble.  I find all of the same principles in cooking as I do in yoga - presence, clarity, discipline and creativity.  Cooking, for me, is bhakti (devotion) at its finest!

Monday, January 4th

I'm loving my new 200hr group - so curious, so willing, so bright.  Observing their process reminds me of my own.  There's nothing more inspiring than watching people as they consciously set out to grow and evolve.  I came home and collapsed after such a long day.  No asana.  Just a nice glass of cabernet and my puppy asleep on my feet.  Perfection. 




Full Moon - January 30th
New Moon - February 14th
Full Moon - February 28th
New Moon - March 15th

Home Practice Sequence

Feel free to modify or vary, depending on what feels right for you.  I've proposed using the wall as a prop, but you could also use a door, or nothing at all!

Tadasasana - Observe your breath (I find it helpful to place one hand on my chest and the other on my abdomen).

Sun Breaths - Inhale, reach arms up into Urdhva Hastasana.  Exhale, fold forward into Uttanasana (bend your knees if your hamstrings are feeling tight).  Inhale, Ardha Uttanasana (flat back).  Exhale, Uttanasana.  Inhale, Urdhva Hastasana.  Exhale, back to Tadasana.  Repeat 3-5x.

Puppy Dog at wall - Facing wall, bring your fingertips onto the wall at hip height.  Step one foot back, then the other, so your body is at a 90 degree angle.  Feet are parallel and hip-distance apart.  Fingertips are perched on the wall (rather than palms flat), which allows you to experience more length through the spine.

Utkatasana at wall - Your back against the wall, position a block (or your copy of "The Joy Of Cooking") between your knees. Feet are one thigh's-distance away from the wall.  Feet parallel and hip-distance apart. Lift your arms up along side your ears.  Bend the knees until thighs are parallel with the floor.  I know.  Just breathe.  Imagine pulling the floor toward the wall with your heels.  Lengthen the buttock toward the backs of the knees.

*Option to repeat Puppy Dog into Utkatasana again.  (Or even a third time...who am I to stop you)?

Downdog at wall - Come onto hands and knees facing the wall (knees slightly behind hips).  Turn your hands out and open the thumbs to create a V shape with your hands.  Place that V shape up to the crease where the wall and the floor meet.  Roll the insides of your arms forward toward the wall and firm the outer arms into the bone. Lift your knees and reach your hips up and back into Downdog.  This variation opens the shoulders, emphasizes proper rotation of the arms and creates more space in the upper back.  Hold as long as you like, maybe 5-8 breaths. Child's pose.  If you found this variation of Downdog helpful, repeat!

Surya Namaskara A - Sun Salutations...if you're in the mood.

Trikonasana at wall - Outer edge of back foot against the wall for support.  Block under hand.  This variation reminds you that you actually have a back leg...a novel concept!

Prasarita Padottanasana C - Wide-legged forward bend.  Interlace fingers behind the back, or use a strap (or the belt from your closet) between the hands for more space (palms face forward).

Vira 1 - either on its own from Downdog, or as part of a Surya Namaskara B.  Work on lifting through the side body like you did in Puppy Dog.  Pull the floor back with your heel like you did in Utkatasana at the wall.  

Handstands - This is where a wall comes in handy (or a trusted roommate)!  For fun (you can read this and decide for yourself if you'd quantify this as "fun") keep the hands one shin's-distance away from the wall.  Once you're upside-down, bend your knees and flatten your feet on the wall.  "Pull" the wall down toward the floor with your feet to scrape your buttock up to the backs of your knees.  Come onto your tippy toes and straighten both knees simultaneously!  Or not.  That's the beauty of a home practice!

Setu Bandha - Bridge pose.  You can interlace your fingers underneath you, or opt to simply grab the edges of your mat with your hands, using the grip to roll your arms open.  Repeat up to 3 times.

Reclined Twist 

Supta Baddha Konasana - Break out the eye pillow.  Scour your home for spare pillows or blankets and place support under both thighs.  This is a great opportunity to practice lengthened breathing, or pranayama.  One of my personal favorites is to inhale, retain after inhale, exhale and retain after exhale, all on a count of 4.  You can increase the count if you feel freedom in your breath.  Retaining the breath is contraindicated for pregnancy.  All pranayama exercises should be first practiced under the guidance of a knowledgeable teacher and should never feel like a struggle.

Savasana